I know it’s hard. Believe me, I know.
Dear Single Mummy struggling to keep going.
Right now, you’re probably crouched on the kitchen floor with tears streaming down your face. Exhausted. Frustrated. Scared. Stressed beyond your limits. Desperate for a break. Willing things to get easier because you have no more energy to give.
You’ve probably got a child needing your attention shouting; “Mum, Mum, Mum”. Or crying. Or having a tantrum. Or wrecking the house you mustered up the energy to clean today.
I get it. I really do. I’ve been there.
You’re probably saying something like;
“I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t do it. I need a break. I can’t handle this.”
You know you have the rest of the day to get through. And the next. And the next.
You could sleep for weeks but you know you’ll be lucky to get one decent night of uninterrupted sleep.
I know that right now it feels like it’s never going to get better and if will get better, how will you cope until then?
You get frustrated because they constantly need you and you can’t even have 5 minutes to pee in peace.
I know you feel guilty because you’re too exhausted to take your child out to the park, or get down on the floor and play endless games of cars and jigsaws. You feel guilty because you just need a break and you have moments where you resent your kids.
You feel guilty because you’re struggling and you take it out on them. You shout when you know shouting won’t help. You snap at them when the ask the 50th question they’ve asked in the last hour.
You feel guilty because it’s not their fault. And you love them. Oh god you love them so much.
You feel like everyone you see on social media has gotten past the rough part and now has the perfect mummy life. Social media can be misleading.
You Have to Keep Going
Single Mummy, I know you’re struggling. I know how alone and tired you feel. I know, because I’ve been there. I’ve been right there, on that kitchen floor curled up sobbing my heart out until my head hurt and I was completely exhausted and drained. There was a time when I thought it was never going to get better. I have uttered the words, “It’s not fair” so many times.
But you know what, one day (and sooner than you think) things WILL get easier. Things WILL get better. You WILL find your stride again and you WILL be happy. You WILL kick ass as a mummy. But to do that – you have to keep going.
You are so much stronger than you could have ever imagined. How do I know? Because you are a single mummy and believe me when I say, that is the hardest thing to be.
It Doesn’t Matter How You Got Here
Maybe you knew you were going to be doing it alone from the start, from before baby even got here.
Maybe your child was 2 or 3 or 7 before you ended up on the path of single mummyhood.
Maybe your baby is a baby, a new-born baby in need of constant care and attention. Feeding nonstop, sleeping rarely, crying relentlessly.
Maybe you have a toddler; a 2-year-old who’s nothing like the baby he was a few months ago with a whole new attitude you’ve never experienced. Tantrums over the smallest of things. Never listening. Pushing the boundaries as far as they possibly can.
Maybe you have a pre-teen going through their own host of emotions and stresses.
Maybe you’ve got a teenager….. Well they’re shit for every mum single or not.
Whatever your situation, it isn’t easy. But it WILL get easier. Any you CAN do it. Believe me when I say you CAN.
You Can’t Quit
How do I know do I know you can do it? Because you can’t quit. Quite simply, you just cannot quit.
Because you know you love your child more than anything on this planet. You know no one can love them the way you do. No one knows what’s best for them more than you. You know they are your everything and you theirs. You know no one can be a better parent, a better guardian, a better role model to your kids than you. That’s why you cant quit. Because you have so much to keep going for. So much to enjoy once you push through this and make it to the other side.
This time will pass. This is a phase. Everything about motherhood is a phase. And no phase lasts.
You were given this life because you can handle it. You were given these kids because no one can love them like you can.
To be a single mum you need courage, determination, strength and you’ve got that. I know you have because you’ve made it this far.
Today might suck. Hell, the last month might have been nonstop shitness (that’s a word). You might not even be able to remember the last time you had a great day. Or an OK day. You might not even be able to remember the last time you laughed. Or showered.
But you know what?
You’re not alone. I know it might feel like you are but you’re not. I know that because I’ve sat right where you are now. I’ve had countless sleepless nights, tears, heartache and struggles. I’ve been there and so have so many other mummy’s out there. Take a look for yourself.
Oh, and you have me. The reason I set up this blog was to help and inspire other single mums out there. To help and encourage anyone going through what I went through and still go through so we can all feel a little bit less alone in this.
What Do I Know?
Am I saying I have it all together? Hell no! Have you seen my post on facebook about my kid belting out the f word? Or the day he quite frankly kicked my ass
I AM that mum who crawls into nursery to drop Aiden off looking like a sack of shit, no makeup, shit hair, clothes I wore in the 90s because I can’t afford to buy any, saying “Please take him!”
I AM that mum with the kid who bolts in the other direction in Tesco when I have my hands full of shopping and I have to choose between ditching the kid or the shopping.
I AM that mum who has the kid darting about like a maniac at the park and I can’t keep up.
I AM that mum whose kid says fuck because, oh fuck, I said it and he copied me.
No, I don’t have it all together. And I would never pretend to. I do still have bad days and bad weeks. Bad months even.
But my point is that each moment, each crappy phase passes and you move forward.
I know that because it happened to me. When quite literally everything in my world fell apart I got through it and you can too. You’re strong enough to do it.
Because you’re a single mum and they are the strongest people I know.
If you’re struggling or if you went through a hard mummy time and came out the other side, please leave a comment below. Don’t forget to subscribe so you dont miss new posts every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
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